Skip to content

艾易艾斯aeas 写作范文欣赏—记叙文(4-6年级)

本期写作范文欣赏跟各位家长和学生分享AEAS4-6年级组的记叙文写作。在这个年级组的考试中,记叙文写作是常考的,考题往往是跟学生的日常校园生活和家庭生活有关的,因此对于大部分学生而言, 解题方面没有太大难度,而且很多学生能顺利写完100字的文章,但是得高分却不容易。要在记叙文写作中获得高分,那么学生需要展现出相应的词汇和句法知识,能准确恰当地做细节描写,能用文字来展现所见所闻, 向读者(考官)呈现一个动人的故事。

因此,今天的写作范文欣赏会着重向学生讲解如何做得恰当生动的细节描写,如何创作出文章的意境和趣味。

近期写作真题话题:

Writing topic: Imagine your school publishes articles from students every month on your school magazine. The magazine editor invites you to write an article about your last coastal trip for the magazine. (At least 100 words)

 

例文:

An amazing trip to the Apollo Bay

Last summer holiday, my parents took us to the Apollo Bay. We all had wonderful time there, and I strongly recommend it to those who are longing for a relaxing holiday.

At the Apollo Bay, the white, fine sandy beach is embraced by clear greenish blue water, which looks like a piece of glimmering jewel on the coast.  Equipped with surfing boards, my family plunged into the cool, clear water shortly after we arrived. Strong waves were rolling towards the beach. I loved looking for small crabs and shellfish as the waves rolled back. Splash! Splash! Many people just enjoyed the simple fun of jumping into the water. Being brave and playful, my dad and my brother surfed over the rolling waves, gliding on the wave crests like graceful seagulls. The boundless view beyond the coastal line also brought incredible relaxation to holidaymakers on the beach.

After a week of relaxing holiday at the Apollo Bay, we had to say goodbye to it, though, very reluctantly. If you and your families are planning for a relaxing summer holiday, I strongly recommend the Apollo Bay.

 

(183 words)

 

动笔前省题:

作文设定的情景是你写的文章会发表在你们的校园杂志上,既然用于发表,那么用词选择的基调是书面的正式用语。除非在描写对话,一般情况下不能用口语词。因此,在动笔前,学生需要确定写作的语气基调。另外,从设定的情景,我们需要解读出题目隐含的写作目的:向读者介绍旅行所到的地方。

 

写作要点:
叙事型的记叙文要清楚地交代事情发生的时间、地点和经过等细节。对所见所闻的细节描写可以采用描绘型的形容词。想丰富句型的话,可以选择介词短语或者分词短语开头的句型,以及插入语句型。为了向学生展示如何使用描绘型的形容词和多样句型,例文中用粗体标示了这些特征。

 

教师点评:考场分数16-18分

  • 这篇文章运用了很丰富的形容词和动词,而且选词准确恰当,展示了学生在词汇运用方面的扎实能力。
  • 文章运用了多种开头句式的的句型,使文章读起来不再枯燥乏味。
  • 一些基本的修辞手法如比喻和拟声词的使用体现了学生的英文和文学积累功底。
  • 文章体现了较高的文字驾驭能力:例如文章中红色加粗的形容词和下划线的动词和句型表达是备考学生可以借鉴学习的。
  • 对于4-6年级的考生,如果能做到以上几点,考分预估在16分以上。
Back To Top