艾易艾斯(aeas) 写作技巧 (十五)避免句子不完整

艾易艾斯(aeas)表述写作中很容易会出现句子不完整的错误,(尤其是在4-6年级,和7-9年级的学生)导致句子的意思与原意相去甚远。

以下是几个经典错句改正。

1. It has been called one of, if not the best film Smith has directed.

这个错句本意是想表达:这是Smith导演的最佳电影之一,(哪怕不是最佳).

原句想通过同位语 if not the best film 来表达另外一层的意思,结果造成语法错误。

当我们把同位语屏蔽时,不难发现他的毛病所在:

It has been called one of Smith has directed.

正确的写法应该是:

It has been called one of the best films, if not the best film, Smith has directed.”

当这句话同样屏蔽掉同位语时:

It has been called one of the best films Smith has directed.

2. Machines are so much better at analyzing large volumes of data than people.

原句意想表达:机器比人类更善于分析海量数据。

然而真正表达出来的意思是:机器更善于研究海量数据而不是研究人类。

它的错误之处正是没有把句子写完整,

正确的写法应该是:

Machines are so much better at analyzing large volumes of data than people are.

3.The product’s naturally occurring carbon dioxide is significantly higher than other brands.

原句想表达的意思是:该产品自然释出的二氧化碳要比别的品牌的产品都要高得多。

然而因为疏忽大意,现在的句意是:该产品自然释出的二氧化碳要比别的品牌都要高得多。前者是二氧化碳,后者是别的品牌,不同的物品不能一起比较,因此这是错句。

正确的写法应该为:

The product’s naturally occurring carbon dioxide is significantly higher than those in other brands.

4. Most categories show decreased totals compared to our results from last year.

句子原意:与去年的结果相比,大部分分类显示出总量下滑,

现在的错误之处在于把 totals from this year 和 our results from last year 相比较,

而真正要做比较的应该是 totals from this year 和 totals from last year 比较

所以正确的写法为:

Most categories show decreased totals compared to those in our results last year.